Chasing the Rainbows: Creating Community in the Aftermath of Grief
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Episode Notes
In this episode of "Perinatal and Reproductive Perspectives," host Becky Morrison speaks with Bernice Quisenberry, founder of "Chasing the Rainbows." Bernice shares her journey through infertility, pregnancy complications, and the tragic loss of her daughter, Brooke. The discussion covers reproductive health issues like PCOS and endometriosis, the emotional impact of pregnancy loss, and the importance of accessible support. Bernice highlights her organization's resources, including support groups, therapy, and wellness practices, aimed at helping individuals navigate their grief and find community. The episode underscores the need for compassionate care and support for those facing similar challenges.
“I should have advocated for myself more. If you ever feel like something is off with you or your baby, go seek help and find somebody else if you’re not getting answers.”
Show Notes
Trigger Warning (00:00:00)
Bernice shares a caution about sensitive topics including pregnancy loss and fertility.
Bernice's Background (00:01:22)
Bernice discusses her journey as a career woman and her experiences with motherhood and infertility.
Infertility Journey (00:02:31)
She describes the challenges of secondary infertility and the medical interventions they pursued.
Pregnancy Complications (00:03:23)
Bernice recounts her pregnancy complications, including a placenta issue and the premature birth of her daughter, Brooke.
Brooke's NICU Experience (00:04:19)
Details the emotional turmoil of Brooke's NICU stay and the devastating news of her passing.
Founding Chasing the Rainbows (00:05:09)
Bernice explains how her experiences led to the creation of her support organization for grieving parents.
Support Services Offered (00:06:07)
She outlines the various support services provided, including therapy, support groups, and community events.
Reproductive Conditions Overview (00:08:18)
Discussion on reproductive conditions like PCOS and endometriosis, highlighting their impact on Bernice's health.
Personal Experience with Conditions (00:08:29)
Bernice shares her painful experiences with endometriosis and PCOS, including surgeries and ongoing challenges.
Impact of Diagnosis (00:10:10)
She reflects on the emotional and physical toll of her reproductive health issues and the quest for answers.
Understanding Endometriosis (00:13:43)
Bernice explains the nature of scar tissue related to endometriosis and its implications for fertility.
Grieving the Twin (00:17:11)
Bernice opens up about the emotional struggle of grieving her twin that was lost alongside Brooke.
Complexity of Grief (00:19:00)
She emphasizes the nuanced and personal nature of grief, particularly in the context of medical experiences.
The Emotional Impact of Loss (00:19:08)
Bernice discusses the personal nature of her loss and the challenges of grieving.
Seeking Support (00:20:12)
Becky invites listeners to seek support from Bernice's organization, "Chasing the Rainbows."
Pregnancy Complications (00:20:28)
Bernice shares her advocacy for checking with doctors during complications.
Hospital Experience (00:21:17)
Bernice recounts her experience at the hospital with her mother during a difficult ultrasound.
Family Support (00:22:22)
Bernice highlights the crucial role her parents played during her journey with infertility.
Ultrasound and Diagnosis (00:23:31)
Bernice describes the anxiety of waiting for ultrasound results concerning her pregnancy.
Advocating for Yourself (00:24:23)
She emphasizes the importance of advocating for oneself during pregnancy complications.
Emergency C-Section (00:27:41)
Bernice narrates the urgency and chaos surrounding her emergency C-section.
Post-Delivery Experience (00:31:37)
She expresses her emotional turmoil after delivering her daughter prematurely.
NICU Challenges (00:34:01)
Bernice reflects on the difficulties of not being able to hold her baby in the NICU.
Pumping and Bonding (00:35:55)
Bernice discusses her strict pumping schedule and the importance of snuggle time with her fragile daughter.
Challenges in NICU (00:39:05)
She reflects on the challenges faced in the NICU and the importance of the nursing team’s support.
The Importance of NICU Levels (00:39:42)
Bernice emphasizes the significance of choosing the right level of NICU for better care options.
Brooke's Progress (00:40:49)
She shares hopeful updates on Brooke's feeding progress and expectations for her discharge.
Emergency Situation (00:41:00)
Bernice recounts the alarming events leading to Brooke's health decline and the need for immediate intervention.
Final Moments (00:45:48)
She describes the heartbreaking experience of holding Brooke during her final moments and saying goodbye.
Coping with Grief (00:48:19)
Bernice reflects on the emotional struggle of leaving the hospital and the impact of grief on her life.
Creating Chasing the Rainbows (00:49:42)
She introduces her organization, Chasing the Rainbows, aimed at supporting others through similar experiences.
Memory Loss and Trauma Processing (00:53:17)
Discussion on memory loss and the importance of processing trauma in a safe environment.
Complicated Grief and Support Needs (00:54:07)
Insights into complicated grief and the need for emotional support and connection after loss.
Microaggressions and Their Impact (00:54:54)
Exploration of microaggressions faced by those grieving and their retraumatizing effects.
Support Services Overview (00:55:26)
Introduction to available support services and the intake process for those seeking help.
Accessibility of Support Groups (00:56:51)
Details on easily accessible support groups and the importance of immediate support.
Crisis Resources and Hotlines (00:57:42)
Information on crisis hotlines and 24/7 support for individuals in need.
Podcast and Website Promotion (00:58:12)
Promotion of the podcast "Cried Out Loud" and the website for more resources.
Closing Remarks and Gratitude (00:58:37)
Expressions of gratitude for the impactful work being done in support of grieving families.