Motherhood, My Way: Choosing Fertility, Family, and a Life on My Own Terms
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Episode Notes
In this powerful and deeply personal episode of Perinatal and Reproductive Perspectives, host Becky Morrison Gleed, LMFT speaks with Cheri Bergeron—author, single mother by choice, and nonprofit founder—about redefining motherhood outside traditional norms.
Cheri shares her journey through infertility, donor conception, pregnancy loss, and pregnancy after loss, including the use of donor eggs and sperm, navigating IVF, and making the heartbreaking decision to medically terminate a wanted pregnancy due to severe fetal anomalies. She speaks candidly about the emotional and physical toll of fertility treatment, the importance of comprehensive genetic testing for all partners, and the grief that often accompanies the road to parenthood.
The conversation also explores Cheri’s extraordinary legal battle after her estranged husband sued for custody of a child conceived with an anonymous sperm donor—raising critical questions about family law, presumed father statutes, and women’s reproductive autonomy. That experience ultimately inspired Cheri’s advocacy work and the founding of her nonprofit, Cheri’s Choice, dedicated to reforming family law and protecting women pursuing independent motherhood.
This episode offers hope, realism, and validation for anyone navigating infertility, loss, single motherhood by choice, pregnancy after loss, or the emotional complexity of choosing a nontraditional family path.
Topics Discussed
Single motherhood by choice
Infertility and reproductive timelines
Donor eggs, donor sperm, IUI, and IVF
Genetic testing and overlooked medical risks
Late-term pregnancy loss and medical termination
Pregnancy after loss and perinatal anxiety
Trauma, grief, and meaning-making
Legal challenges and family law reform
Redefining motherhood beyond traditional models
Content Note
This episode includes discussion of infertility, pregnancy loss, medical termination, and legal conflict. Listener discretion is advised.
“If motherhood is your purpose, you don’t have to force the wrong relationship—or leave it all to chance. You have options, even if they don’t look traditional.”
Show Notes
Podcast Overview (00:00:27)
Podcast introduction, host and guest introductions, and episode topic: single motherhood by choice.
Cheri’s Early Journey and Relationship Struggles (00:01:32)
Cheri discusses career success, failed relationships, and pressure to marry for motherhood.
Realization and Decision for Single Motherhood (00:02:41)
Cheri decides to become a mother on her own terms after fertility challenges.
Rethinking Relationship and Motherhood Readiness (00:03:17)
Discussion on reframing questions about partnership and readiness for motherhood.
Breaking Traditional Family Narratives (00:04:15)
Cheri and Becky discuss societal expectations and the powerlessness of not fitting the traditional family mold.
Opening Up to Non-Traditional Paths (00:06:16)
Encouragement for women to consider motherhood outside traditional timelines and relationships.
Legal Separation and Fertility Journey (00:07:02)
Cheri describes her legal separation, fertility treatments, and decision to use an egg donor.
Relationship Breakdown and Co-Parenting Challenges (00:08:28)
Loss, relationship breakdown, and the beginnings of co-parenting after separation.
Starting Over: Egg and Sperm Donor, Legal Battle (00:09:35)
Cheri starts over with new donors; later faces a custody lawsuit from her estranged husband.
Legal Crisis and Advocacy Inspiration (00:10:52)
The custody battle inspires Cheri’s advocacy and nonprofit work for women’s reproductive rights.
The Legal Battle’s Emotional Toll (00:11:29)
Cheri shares the emotional impact of the legal fight on her and her children.
Support Systems and Community (00:14:26)
Cheri describes the unexpected support from neighbors and community during her struggles.
Trauma, Healing, and Meaning-Making (00:16:50)
Cheri discusses trauma therapy, healing after loss, and finding meaning through advocacy.
Legal Considerations and Systemic Bias (00:20:11)
Details of the custody case, legal biases, and the need for law reform regarding presumed fatherhood.
Advocacy for Women’s Choices (00:23:16)
Cheri’s mission to inform women of their options and challenge traditional legal assumptions.
Fertility Clinic Experience and Testing (00:24:28)
Cheri’s fertility assessments, treatments, and the importance of comprehensive genetic testing.
Loss, Grief, and Medical Decisions (00:26:41)
Cheri’s experience with late-stage pregnancy loss, genetic issues, and the emotional toll.
The Importance of Genetic Testing (00:27:57)
Advocacy for genetic testing of all parties in fertility treatments to prevent avoidable loss.
Coping with Loss and Finding Answers (00:30:00)
Cheri’s journey through grief, self-blame, and the relief of understanding the cause of her losses.
Medical Termination and Legal Barriers (00:33:47)
Cheri explains medical termination, abortion debates, and the impact of changing laws on women’s choices.
Pregnancy After Loss: Anxiety and Hope (00:36:24)
The emotional complexity of pregnancy after loss, including fear, anxiety, and hope.
A Healthy Pregnancy and Postpartum Experience (00:39:37)
Cheri’s final pregnancy, birth, and postpartum period described as positive and healing.
Conclusion and Next Episode Teaser (00:41:04)
Closing remarks, preview of the next episode, and resources for listeners.
Guest information
Cheri Bergeron is a former tech executive turned bestselling author, blogger, trained life coach, and the founder of the nonprofit Cheri’s Choice. After a decade-long struggle with infertility—marked by multiple rounds of IVF, donor conception, genetic challenges, and profound child loss—Cheri ultimately fulfilled her dream of motherhood, giving birth to her children at the ages of 44 and 46.
Deeply shaped by her own journey, Cheri wrote the #1 Amazon bestselling book Mission: Motherhood to remind women navigating infertility and unconventional family-building paths that they are not alone.
Through her nonprofit, Cheri’s Choice, Cheri now supports and empowers women who are pursuing non-traditional paths to motherhood.
Cheri lives in Austin, Texas, with her beautiful, unconventional, blended family, embracing a life that reflects the many ways motherhood and family can be created.
Resources
Website: Cheri’s Choice