When Motherhood Doesn't Come: The Other Side of the Story with Debra Dove
LISTEN ON: APPLE | SPOTIFY
Episode Notes
In this heartfelt and eye-opening episode, Debbie Dove shares her journey through infertility, recurrent miscarriage, and life on the other side of an unfulfilled dream of motherhood. After years of trying to conceive—first with a partner who wasn’t emotionally supportive, then enduring multiple pregnancy losses with a different partner—Debbie found herself facing the grief of being involuntarily childless in a culture that rarely speaks openly about that path.
With honesty and grace, Debbie reflects on what it means to live in a society steeped in pronatalism, where parenthood is assumed, idealized, and often used as a measure of personal fulfillment. She speaks candidly about the emotional impact of insensitive comments, the silence surrounding reproductive loss, and the complicated experience of being told, "You'd be a great mom," when motherhood never materialized.
This episode is part one of a two-part conversation about grief, identity, and self-acceptance—and an invitation to listen more closely to the often-unspoken stories of women without children.
Topics Discussed:
Debbie’s early experiences with infertility and medical testing
Emotional disconnection between partners during fertility treatment
The social pressure and grief of not becoming a parent
Living with unexplained recurrent miscarriage
The isolation of being childless in a pronatalist culture
Microaggressions and dismissive comments around fertility
Generational silence around pregnancy loss and infertility
The emotional toll of being told, “You’d be a great mom”
Finding meaning and community after letting go of the motherhood path
Advocacy for awareness, sensitivity, and support for childless individuals
“You feel like ‘I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing, like I’m following the directions. I’m being a good patient. I’m following what you’re telling me to do. This is how it’s supposed to work.’ And I’m having that baby story in the back of my mind. It’s going to work out one of these times. Something’s going to happen, and then it doesn’t.”